Swipe Right: What Those Horse Photos in Dating Profiles Say About Equestrians

Photo © Lauren Mauldin

BY BLOG EDITOR LAUREN MAULDIN

Gentlemen, I know you’ve heard about us – the horse girls. Whether it’s the infamous tight breeches or how we’re known to be just slightly crazy, our reputation precedes us. Try Guy, Keith Habersberger, even listed loving horses as his number one dating dealbreaker in a 2015 video.

© Buzzfeed

Well Keith, you’re not wrong.

But us equestrians are more than the great butts we’re rocking in these breeches. So what do the horse pictures in our dating profiles really say about us?

We won’t take crap from our horse — or you.

Here’s the deal: our horses weigh upwards of 1200 pounds. Sure, we call them our little baby waby ponies, but the truth is that they’re strong, independent animals. They need a leader who gives them boundaries. They require an assertive partner who won’t let them get their way during a temper tantrum. We know how to stand up for ourselves, whether it’s a bullheaded young filly or a frat boy that’s had one too many PBR’s.

We’re driven AF.

We don’t spend all this money and time with our horses to sit around and watch the world go by. No, we have big goals and we know how to go after them. If you’re on a date with a horse girl and she asks you what you do for fun, the worst thing you can say is “I dunno, I watch tv after work.” That might be fine for some people, but not us. We’re used to putting in the hours and finely tuning every area of our life so that we can pursue our dreams. Complacent people need not apply.

We’re not afraid of getting our fingers dirty.

Horse girls aren’t afraid to break a nail, or shovel manure in the hot sun. If our horse gets hurt (and trust me, they get hurt all the time) and is bleeding profusely, we’re not going to yell Ewww gross! and run away. Instead, we’ll be there holding a compression bandage until the vet comes. We’re good in a crisis, and keep a level head when the going gets tough. But don’t think we can’t clean up well. Just because we’re going to be wearing breeches and boots for the majority of our dinners out, doesn’t mean we don’t like to get fancy. After all, there’s always award banquet season.

Photo © Lauren Mauldin

We think excuses are total horse… manure.

We haven’t gotten this far in our hobby, or our life, by making excuses for ourselves. That picture in our dating profile of us jumping our horse over a giant fence didn’t happen because we took the easy way out. The countless hours practicing, studying the sport, and failing repeatedly have shown us that the real way to succeed is through careful, diligent effort. We’ve won ribbons because we’re able to take a good, hard look at ourselves to identify our weak spots, and then push past them. We expect the same out of you. 

We know what trust feels like.

Horses are big, powerful animals. Riding them, even in the best circumstances, is at least a little bit dangerous. Every time we swing a leg over an animal, we put our trust in them. That’s pretty easy to understand, but what many non-horse people don’t get is that trust is mutual. We’re able to do amazing things with our horses because we’ve patiently shown them that they can trust us. We’re not going to beat them when they’re scared or confused. We won’t ask them to do anything they aren’t capable of. In return, these amazing creatures try their heart out for us. Really, the same should be said of any good relationship.

Photo © Lauren Mauldin

Look guys, we know we’re a hard lot to take sometimes. It’s true, we might love our horse more than anything else. Don’t take it personal, because if we choose to have you in our life, it means you’re just as special. Maybe even more so, but don’t tell our horses. 


About the Author: Lauren holds an MFA in creative nonfiction from the University of California Riverside, and is a lifelong rider and writer. Beyond equestrian journalism, she explores body positivity, mental health and addiction through personal narrative. She enjoys showing on the local hunter/jumper circuit in Austin, Texas.

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