By JAMIE SINDELL
Here’s the scenario. I’m looking for a unicorn on a finite budget for my kiddo. It’s a grueling task, endlessly scouring ads on social media. Finally, paydirt! I uncover a promising horse and speak with the agent. The gelding seems perfect. Exactly the horse I was beginning to think we couldn’t find, unless I sold an organ on the dark web for extra cash.
I try to quell the excitement about Mr. Perfect. There’s a catch; a buyer in line first. We set a date right after the other party and wait in pins and needles mode.
Boom! The ding of disappointment: “The other people LOVED the horse. They are moving forward.” I gently pick up the shards of my daughter’s disappointment. “There will be another,” I try to convince her with a pasted-on smile, though I’m not convinced.
Imagine my surprise when weeks later, the agent says the deal fell through. The buyers took him on a lengthy trial, ultimately vetting him then low-balling with an “offensive” offer. The owner yanked Mr. Perfect back; he’s ready for my kiddo to hop on.
I rearrange our schedules ASAP to make the drive, so we don’t miss out. The logistical gymnastics pay off. My daughter flats and jumps around with a grin. We love Mr. Perfect and explain we want to move forward. The agent adores him as well, she shares. She’s known Mr. Perfect for many years and assures us she wants him in the best home with a kid like mine.
The agent’s unsure if the owner’s still open to a trial since the first buyers were a nightmare. But…she’s back in touch quickly; the owner agreed to a short trial. My daughter and I are floating on hope for the rest of the day.
Strangely, though, the agent never responds to solidify details. Two days later we hear back. The buyers who tried Mr. Perfect before us, difficult and insulting, made a palatable offer. Money was wired. DONE DEAL. Mr. Perfect sells before we have the chance to make an offer. It’s disappointing and feels sleezy.
Regardless, I keep plugging away, hoping to find a different sort of seller. And we do encounter likeminded, big-hearted people. I even become friends with one trainer we meet; despite the fact we didn’t purchase her pony. Sadly, we also encounter more sellers along the lines of Mr. Perfect’s as well.
For example, a mother selling her daughter’s first horse whom she “loves so much.” She gushes over how kind and wonderful the horse has been to her kid. Then in the next breath she says the sale of the mare is, “First come, first served.” She is not open to a trial. Plus, she’s reluctant to let us come try the mare for a second time, even semi-hostile at the suggestion. When we float the idea of scheduling a vetting, she balks at it. Explaining we shouldn’t need to vet a horse in our “price point.” If we do schedule a vetting, she explains, and another buyer comes with the cash first, she won’t wait. She will sell this beloved first horse at a moment’s notice to a stranger in Colorado if they fork over the money fast. True love at its finest. This mare didn’t work out for us.
This quick sale comes first, buyer and horse come second, isn’t a spanking new mentality. Because last year, I believed I was purchasing a pony from a mother selling her child’s “beloved” first pony. Amidst arranging trailering and preparing the money, I got the dreaded ding: “Sorry, I sold him to someone else. They offered more.” I frantically typed some F-bombs then erased. Instead, I expressed my disappointment calmly and moved on. However, the interaction has remained with me.
Some of you reading may say it’s currently a you-snooze-you-lose horse market, so suck it up, lady. When you are shopping without a healthy budget, rather an anemic budget, you need to be willing to jump naked through a flaming hoop of fire to snag the horse. You need to take risks. Buy the horse without a trial, sight unseen, skip the vetting… Be the very first one to make it rain, regardless of what it takes and whom you shove out of your way.
If you believe in the first come, first served mentality when it comes to horse sales, I beg to differ. You are dealing with living animals. You are not a used car salesman. You are not selling the dusty BowFlex in your basement on Marketplace. You are dealing with buyers with hopes and dreams, many of them children. You are dealing with horses who deserve the right fit rather than being regurgitated back onto social media with the disclaimers like: “This horse was misrepresented.” Or even worse, lunged to death or drugged regularly to make them the right fit. I would hate to jump into a purchase impetuously then realize the horse’s maintenance costs are untenable, he wouldn’t hold up for the intended job, or he wasn’t a happy camper with us.
So the list of people I’m willing to trust is dwindling. And I know I’m not the only horse person who at times feels she’s drifting in an ocean full of in Samshield-wearing sharks. People who’ve become very wary about whom they do business with. To be fair, I recognize this trepidation goes both ways. Sellers have become wary and untrusting as well, which feeds into the sell-quick mentality. If you can’t trust buyers to be true to their word, to set up the vetting, take the horse on trial or wire you the money, why wait?
I do empathize with sellers because of the escalating cost of everything horse related. An extra week on the bills may be make or break. Selling a horse first come, first served may not be a callous act, but a necessity for some. Social media is an additional factor. Though Facebook can be a time-suck full of window shoppers, it is easier than ever to snag thousands of buyers across the country and beyond who are ready to pounce. A few quick messages back and forth can result in a sale. Sellers may be pinning their hopes on this kind of easy interaction.
Is this horse selling culture the new norm, though? In a society where we expect everything at the speed of an Amazon delivery, it’s beginning to seem so. I just hope along with this shift, we consider the impact of our actions on horses and humans, rather than only thinking of ourselves and the bottom line. I hope that as an industry, we work harder at prioritizing human decency.
About the Author
Jamie Sindell is a passionate equestrian blogger. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona and a BS in Animal Science from Cornell University. She has ridden and owned hunters on and off throughout her life. She is a mom of five kids who range from ages 4-15. She and her family reside at Wish List Farm, where her horse-crazy girls play with their ponies. Her son and husband play with the tractor. You can follow her on Instagram @wishlistfarm.
