By JESSICA SHANNON
Many mothers dream of riding with their daughters. But far fewer of those mothers are trainers themselves. But for Colleen Brombach at Silver Fox Farms, she gets to combine both of those bonds with her daughters, Brooke and McKayla, who found their gifts in the saddle with their mom as their trainer. It’s a dynamic that takes intentional effort to ensure the family from Wimberley, TX, thrives in the arena as much as they do at the dining room table.
Eyeing Your Daughters’ Talent
Many women who ride and train professionally have mixed feelings about their daughters becoming full-fledged horse girls. The idea of sharing the deep love of horses is heartwarming, but adults are all too aware of the financial cost of riding. Colleen, wearing her mom, rider, and trainer hats, was a bit apprehensive about Brooke and McKayla diving into the horse world. Like others, she knew the expense this sport requires, but, “As soon as they could hold their own heads up they were riding double with me.”
Colleen and her husband also signed their daughters up for soccer and softball. Brooke was an incredibly talented softball player, including playing on an elite tournament team and being scouted by a high school coach as early as sixth grade. Still, Brooke wanted to focus on horses. Colleen says she knew it was completely Brooke’s decision to quit softball when Brooke told her mom, “I would rather get dumped off of a horse than get hit with a pitch.” McKayla was a switch hitter in softball and a fast, coordinated soccer player. But the interest just wasn’t there in pursuing those sports. She was happy to put all her energy into horses.
Colleen fondly remembers moments when she realized that both of her daughters were officially bitten by the horse bug. She says, “One of my fondest memories of McKayla was around a year old. She was riding double with me, sitting in front of me. We were cantering, and she put her arms straight out to the side and just started giggling.”
Colleen reflects on McKayla being a daredevil as a child, both in and out of the saddle, but suddenly, around 10 years old, she started to show her true potential as a rider. “Something changed, and she became very focused on how she was going to execute things correctly. She started to understand track and pace. The change in her focus led to a ton of catch rides in the ponies, starting around 12 years old. All of the catch rides have helped make her the rider she is today.”
Brooke was around three when she did her first walk/trot over poles on a green, 5-year-old pony. They were at a horse show in San Juan Capistrano, now known as Blenheim, and Colleen needed to warm up one of her clients. She says, “I told her to warm up but not to trot any poles until I came back. I should have known she wouldn’t listen!” Colleen remembers looking over her shoulder and seeing Brooke riding straight to a jump with a pile of ground poles.
“I knew she was about to get dumped, because I knew her pony would jump the pile of poles. As I’m yelling at her not to do the pole, she goes right over the poles and the pony jumps them,” says Colleen. Brooke did fall off, as predicted, and her mom lovingly told her that they could try again tomorrow. That was not acceptable to young Brooke, who insisted she wanted to show.
Colleen cleaned the arena dirt off of her daughter and then watched her earn a ribbon. A few years later, when Brooke was 5, she had a real love for flat work that stemmed from a fear of jumping and required her to take her time to build confidence. As other riders her age in a flat class were focused on their heels, sitting tall, and checking their diagonals, Brooke was already focused on shaping her pony. Colleen says, “At one point I told her to bend her pony a little bit more. All the trainers around me looked at me and said, ‘Really? This is a walk trot class.’”
Sisterly Advice
The Brombachs have mastered the art of separating their barn life from their home life. The sisters stuck together in college, too, and their bond led to their continued connection in college. Brooke is a senior at A&M, and McKayla is wrapping up her first semester as an Aggie freshman. They have both had incredible success as junior riders, including at home in Texas, then at Maclay Finals, WEF, Capital Challenge, and circuits along the East Coast and Michigan.
Brooke says that she and McKayla are only in one lesson per week together in College Station, but their bond and emphasis on supporting each other, as well as their teammates, is as strong as it was at home. Brooke gave her younger sister advice while she was scouting potential college riding teams. “My advice was to talk to coaches about the workouts, such as when and how often. Ask them how they run their barn. How do they run their program, does everyone have different roles, do they have the athletes clean stalls?” says Brooke. She also encouraged McKayla to be really observant about the small details of each program to find the best fit for her. For McKayla, however, there was not much of a decision to make.
“The biggest advice my sister gave me was to make sure I went to a school where I felt at home. I didn’t really listen, and I was pretty set on going to A&M.” While she acknowledges that she took a big risk in focusing on one school, she feels it was a great decision.
“I just wanted to ride, and that was all I was concerned about. I really enjoy being there,” she says. Brooke has helped her sister settle in and find her people. McKayla adds, “I honestly think I would have gone wherever Brooke went. I felt I could make any place home if she was there.”
A Culture of Sisterhood
Anyone who sees McKayla and Brooke interact at horse shows would assume that they are each other’s biggest fan. While that is certainly true, both sisters are adamant that the culture in their barn feels like the most supportive, honest, and encouraging family. “It’s super important to me that everyone at the barn feels like family. I think having a sisterly bond is so amazing, and I want every girl at the barn to have the opportunity to share that with someone,” says McKayla.
Competitive riders experience a lot of complex emotions and challenges, and having a sister there every step of the way has shown McKayla how to support others while also giving her sister confidence knowing that she is never alone. She loves being ringside for all of her barnmates, and she knows that Brooke will always be present. McKayla encourages others, whether they are sisters, barnmates, or college teammates, to not hold a grudge. “I think the reason my sister and I get along is because we can be honest with each other and not hold a grudge. It is easy to work with people when you work together instead of working against. We get along because we want the best for each other, and we have that mutual understanding.”
Brooke agrees with McKayla’s outlook. She says, “We treat everyone in the barn how we treat each other. We started this mentality in Wimberley and carried it to A&M.” She aims for teammates to be kind and honest with each other, including validating someone’s feelings if they feel they did not ride their best round and then offering insights full of hope to help motivate each other and improve the next time they are in the ring.
Brooke emphasizes the team approach in a sport that can otherwise be an individual sport. She says, “If there are three people from my barn in the same division, then I want us to get first, second, and third. It doesn’t matter where I place in the order. If my teammate wins, we all win. We do it together.” Brooke and McKayla take what they have learned in supporting each other, and recreate that sisterly bond at their barn.
Tips from the In Gate
Training your daughters and being trained by your mom can be tricky, but also an incredible bonding experience. Colleen, Brooke, and McKayla have advice for other mothers and daughters in similar situations.
Brooke and McKayla each found their individual way to separate home from the barn. Brooke says, “I needed a psychological switch from Mom to Trainer. I call her “Colleen” at the barn and “Mom” everywhere else.” She suggests that, if another daughter of a trainer thinks this may be helpful to them, then it is best to discuss it with their trainer mom first. It works for Brooke and helps her distinguish the different roles and what each of her mom’s roles requires of her. She and McKayla see their mom as a trainer at the barn with a very different relationship at home.
“She did a good job being my coach in the ring and not my mom,” says McKayla. “I think we were able to form a good relationship that never felt like a parent telling their kid what to do. In the barn, she was my boss. If I disagreed with something, I had to learn how to deal with it.”
Having to juggle two different environments that require different behaviors built resiliency in McKayla that she believes she may not otherwise have needed that early in life. Both sisters found a personalized approach to knowing when Colleen was their mom and when she was their trainer, and they are both very proud to be Colleen’s daughters and riders.
Colleen feels lucky to have a relationship with her girls that gave her the opportunity to be involved with their whole life, and other mothers who are trainers may feel the same way. She encourages other mother-trainers to be open minded.
“Be aware of what works and what doesn’t. When nothing is working, be smart and look for options,” she says. Colleen suggests riders can attend more clinics, be a short-term working student for another trainer, or allow your child to be taught by another trainer for a while as options. She notes that clients who are not a trainer’s child are known to move barns if they feel the need for a new challenge, and there are ways to give your child those same opportunities to learn from others.
“It gives them the opportunity to hear things said in a different way that might help trigger that light bulb to get the concept.” Colleen says. She emphasizes being open-minded and listening to what your child prefers.
When Brooke was working with another trainer at Junior Hunter Finals, she was given the option to decide if her mom should head to the bleachers and simply be a mom or stay ringside. It was up to Brooke, and Brooke chose for Colleen to remain with her. Colleen would have done whatever Brooke needed in that moment, and she finds situations like those as great teaching moments for all parents who are trainers.
“To get the most benefit, it needs to be a mutual decision,” adds Colleen. “Ultimately, it is about the child’s goal, not the parent’s.”
