By JAMIE SINDELL
She’s begging for a pony ride. It’s only five bucks. We should do it. Aww, look at her up there, beaming with her ponytail bouncing.
This is the best! I love ponies!!!
Apparently, “pony camp” is a thing. She swears she’ll do anything to go—take out the trash, put away the dishes, clean her room without being asked. She’s nearly bursting with excitement just thinking about it. One week this summer can’t hurt, right?
Pony camp was the best week of my life. I spent all day with ponies and kids like me who love horses. I learned so much, rode so much, and got super smelly and sweaty.
Oh boy… Now she’s begging for riding lessons. Just once a week, she promises. How bad could that be?
Every week, I count down the days until my lesson. I wish I could stay there forever.
Now, once a week isn’t enough. She wants two lessons. She’s addicted. It’s a lot of time and a lot of money. But we can swing it. When I see her up there, attacking the jumps, face flushed with joy, I want to make it happen.
Thank you so much, Mom. My lessons are when I feel most like me. And the barn is my other home.
She fell today for the first time. The pony stopped at a fence, and she slammed into the ground. My heart pounded like a jackhammer. I wanted to gather her in my arms, tell her it’s okay to be done. But before I could, she was pushing herself up, wiping the dirt from her breeches, and hopping back on.
I’m okay. A little sore, a little embarrassed, but nothing will stop me from doing what I love. I’ve got grit.
Her trainer got after her today. Really pushed her. I braced myself, waiting for her to crumble under the criticism. But instead, she clenched her jaw, nodded, and tried again. And again. Until she nailed it.
I’m fine, Mom. I can handle the feedback. It stings sometimes, but I know it makes me better.
Now she wants to do a horse show? Just one, she says. Just to try.
I’m so excited to show. And a little nervous. I’ve worked so hard. This is my chance to prove myself. But even if I mess up, I know you’ll be there for me, Mom.
Wait a minute. She says she needs show clothes. And that stuff isn’t cheap. What did we sign up for?
Look at me rocking my new jacket, breeches, boots, garters, and bows. Don’t I look legit? Love you so much.
Now she’s talking about a half-lease. Just three days a week, she says. Not too much commitment. Right?
I heart this pony to the moon and back. He’s my best friend. And all the extra time at the barn: the sleepovers, the jump painting, the Christmas party, the chores—it’s the best. I’m a barn rat now!
Her trainer says she needs her own saddle. It’s pricey, but we can surprise her for her birthday.
I am obsessed with my saddle. I oil it after every ride. Best gift ever!
She wants to switch barns. More opportunities. More challenges. I talked to her trainer, and though it’s heartbreaking, she agrees it’s time.
I’m going to miss everyone so much. But I have dreams, and I need to chase them. Change is hard, but I’ll visit. I’ll keep in touch.
Her new trainer mentions a full lease. Or buying a horse. We’ll have to stretch every dollar, but riding has been her anchor. No breakups, no parties, just her horse and her goals.
My horse is my safe place. When school sucks, when there’s friend drama, when life is too overwhelming, I just sit in his stall and breathe.
Holy cow. Vet bills, supplements, horseshoes, something called “mane pulling,” that’s a horse haircut… This is so much. But she shines at the barn. She’s confident and responsible. More mature than many of her peers.
I know you guys sacrifice so much so I can do this. I promise I’ll make you proud.
Now she wants to qualify for Zones, Junior Hunter Finals, Devon. How are we supposed to keep up?
I’ll groom. I’ll braid. I’ll find a working student job. Please, don’t give up on me. I need your support.
We spend all that time, all that money, all that effort… and her horse went lame just before Finals. I was devastated for her. Still, she went to help her trainer and cheer for friends.
These things happen. Sure, I was crushed. But that’s horses. That’s life.
It’s bittersweet. She’s heading to college. Her junior years are over. My girl is independent. But I’m so incredibly proud of who she has become. The horses shaped her. I’m trying not to cry, but the tears keep flowing.
Mom, I’ll miss you so much. But you know I’m only a text away. And I can’t wait for you to watch me ride on the team. Love ya.
She graduated. Has a job. An apartment. She’s finally paying for her own horse habit. And I couldn’t be prouder.
I won’t give up horses. Not ever. They’ll always be in my life. A part of me.
And now… our baby girl has her own baby girl. Time passed in a blink. If I close my eyes, I still see her in braids, posting around the ring. It feels like it was yesterday.
Thank you, Mom, for everything. For fostering my love of horses. For sacrificing so much to make it work. I know it wasn’t easy.
And guess what? I just took my little girl for her first pony ride. She loved it…
About
Jamie Sindell is a passionate equestrian blogger. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona and a BS in Animal Science from Cornell University. She has ridden and owned hunters on and off throughout her life. She is a mom of five kids who range from ages 4-15. She and her family reside at Wish List Farm, where her horse-crazy girls play with their ponies. Her son and husband play with the tractor. You can follow her on Instagram @wishlistfarm.
