By PIPER KLEMM Ph.D.
Last July I sat at the Amsterdam airport McDonald’s thinking about my future. I pulled out a napkin and started sketching out points. I told myself I could show at, by qualifying-only, The Devon Horse Show 2025 in the 3’3” Amateur Owner Hunters. It was exciting to think about over a breakfast sandwich to go into my international McDonald’s rating ledger (France < The Netherlands < Belgium <<< US witchcraft).
It was an irrational conversation at best, even performed solely in my own head. At that moment, I hadn’t ridden in months. I hadn’t shown in the 3’3” since I scared myself and my horse a few years ago and my first tour up to that height was short-lived, only a few shows. I have a horse who is forgiving to my brand of mistake at the 3’ and not at the 3’3”. Whatever my intentions, I haven’t practiced in years at this point and I have no well of previous experience to draw on.
I thought about Reuben, quickly approaching his 18th year in 2025. In his prime, but if I wanted to do “big things” I mustn’t delay. Likely I will not be comfortable asking him to ship all the way to Pennsylvania to perform at age 19. I also knew I had to earn my goals rather than tell anyone because I was not in a state to even state them.
Arriving at the Kentucky Horse Shows a few weeks later, I saddled back up to do the Adult Amateur Hunters. I was scared from not riding and surprisingly to both Emily and me, still scared from a routine error I made during my final round at May Kentucky, my previous time riding. I also flew in the night before from another horse show and had to warm-up and show, which is not a preference. I struggled.
I spent the early days of the next week in my two-point in the field by myself dreaming of even moving up to the division to start to try to qualify, and through the push, we started hitting our stride again. We jumped around warm-up day with assistant trainer extraordinaire but still rarely independent Morgan, without the security blanket of Emily on the ground to fix anything in real-time. I came back and told Emily it was “a 90” if it had been judged and she laughed. Of course, there is no video.
The next day I got to say “See?” when Reuben hit it out of the park. On Sunday, the most consistent day I have ever ridden him, we loosened up in the field, walked right in, and scored a pair of 88’s, winning both trips and also the undersaddle and coming back for an 86 in the second round of the classic. To simply tack up my horse and do that was one of the biggest days of my life and to know he had simply come in from turnout, taken a nap, and performed, no other things in his schedule or veins, simply a relaxed horse walking into that ring and happily seeking out his job. I will remember that day for the rest of my life.
I kept pushing myself and came back to Ledges in September and asked Emily to jump the 3’3”. After a long relationship, she knows that if I have the confidence to ask, I probably have the confidence to do it. The first trip was one of the best trips I’ve ever had on him in that ring. He was Reserve Champion with a heartbreaking rail at the 10th and final jump in the classic after a stunning trip.
I pushed to take extra lessons, practicing more than I ever have (*not enough, still rarely), I struggled back on after a miscarriage. I carved out both weeks of December Ledges and then both weeks of January Ledges. My budget accounted for 5 shows–both for spending and not working as hard as I usually do on everything else. Reuben settled into Indoor Ledges with his usual aplomb and tallied up the banner with four more tricolors, a classic win, and other top placings.
Catching up on everything else, I now haven’t ridden, have sent in my entry, and am here waiting and reflecting and planning my spring riding. Will I be disappointed if I am on the cuff and don’t make it? Am I ready for all the pressure? Can I leg up and ride respectably to my horse and the competition in time? I have never ridden at Devon before, so I don’t know what it even takes. I’ve watched, observed, interviewed, and learned. I have had the privilege to show my baby ponies on the line at Devon four times. Those ponies are now 27 and 11. Does Reuben want to go? Will he want to after our annual May Kentucky outing? To all of these, who knows.
What I do know is this anticipation for May has allowed me so much. The anticipation has given me the strength to say no to other projects and focus on my riding hobby and showing for a few more weeks than I normally am able to. It has allowed me beautiful dinners with great friends where we laughed and “wasted” time. Dreaming let me put maybe too many foundational miles in a row on my young horse myself. It allowed me to wake up one morning and drive to Wisconsin (1,018.6 mi) in November just simply to take lessons, 7 of them, and then drive right home. It has allowed me to connect seriously with people I care greatly about. Most importantly, it has given me the chance to be in the moment with this horse who has made all my dreams come true already and keeps showing every day I have ever asked him to to give me more.
Is believing in any dream gut wrenching and harrowing and and frankly mostly disappointing? Yes. And still, using our time and energy on the exhilaration of the sustained anticipation is totally worth it.
