By JAMIE SINDELL
There was a time when I boarded my horse and got heated. I’m talking full-blown righteous fury over what I saw as egregious examples of poor care. Mistakes that made me seethe with rage. But now? I own my own farm. I’ve spent almost three years caring for my own horses. And I can say, with absolute certainty, that most of the time when I threw an inner-temper tantrum, I needed to relax.
Caring for horses is hard work. Caring for horses is not a perfect science. If I could go back in time, I’d tell Past Me to chill. Because now I understand things like…
Horses drink water.
I would show up to the barn, see an empty bucket, and my inner alarm bell screamed: NEGLECT. What I know now is it’s not like horses say, “Hey, I’m extra thirsty today, lady. I’m going to drain my bucket the minute you turn your back.” Odds are your horse went on a little water bender, and the staff just hasn’t been back around to top it off. He’s not dying of dehydration. He just drank a lot.
Horses hurt themselves.
I used to find a scratch or bump and immediately stew over it: Why didn’t anyone tell me about this? Maybe it’s because no one saw it? Your horse could’ve done it in the privacy of his own stall, or while playing in turnout, when it didn’t look like much. Just because you see it now doesn’t mean it was obvious earlier. So maybe don’t go full psycho until you get the scoop.
Sometimes it’s best to skip turnout.
Back then, I was always complaining that my horse didn’t get enough turnout. If he was especially spicy, I’d blame it on that. Now? I’ve seen my ponies wipe out on the flattest, driest paddocks because they were acting like drunk frat boys. Add mud, ice, or sketchy weather, and the risk goes way up. Sometimes, a shorter turnout or zero turnout means your horse stays in one piece. So, ask yourself: do you want a fresh horse… or a broken one?
Horses don’t require a hay buffet.
If your horse maintains a healthy weight, most likely he’s getting enough food. I used to sneak my horse extra flakes to ensure he was “living his best life.” In hindsight, that was inconsiderate and unnecessary. Hay is expensive, and horses love to pee all over the extra. Also, my horse didn’t need to be a porker to be happy–he needed not to founder.
Horses poop. A lot.
I remember walking into a stall and thinking: Why is this so gross today? But some days, horses poop more than others. And if they were kept in due to weather, it’s going to look (and smell) nastier. A bad stall day here or there doesn’t automatically equal poor care.
Horses are unpredictable.
When I boarded, I remember getting to the barn, and my normally sweet horse was standoffish. Cue inner meltdown: Why is he head shy? Who hurt my baby?? Fast forward to now, when I’m the only one handling my horses, and the other day, one of my ponies acted like fly spray was acid and the halter, a torture device. The next day, she was over it. Sometimes they’re just having a moment. A change in personality is not always a sign of abuse.
The barn won’t look like an Instagram feed.
I used to long for the spotless aisles, cobweb-free beams, the vibe of a barn with chandeliers and fridges stocked with champagne. But most barns are dirty places. Hay, dust, and poop are part of the barn-chic décor. If you’re not paying for the Ritz, expect some grit. It builds character. And your immune system.
Conflict will happen.
Barns are filled with passionate, slightly crazy people of all ages who spend their life savings on large animals. BBO (before barn ownership), I didn’t quite get that some conflict is inevitable. A little bit is often harmless and blows over. Full-blown drama, however, can be toxic. Know your limitations. But don’t expect a zero-conflict experience unless your barn is empty—or you board there alone. And even then, your kids or your horses will give you attitude. Ask me how I know…
The weather is a liar.
I also did an inner-freak-out when I would show up, and my horse was blanketed even though it was 60 degrees. Before calling PETA, consider that it might’ve been freezing an hour ago. Or maybe your horse is naked when it’s cold because the weather app swore it would be sunny. Most often, it’s not lazy barn staff; it’s a guessing game. If your horse isn’t sweating or shivering, he’ll survive a blanketing mishap here and there.
It all comes down to trust.
If you trust your barn, stop nitpicking every little thing. You’ll drive yourself and everyone else nuts. And if you are concerned? Communicate! Give the staff a chance to explain or address anything that’s worrying you. If they won’t, and you can’t let it go, time to move on. There are other barns out there that will cash your monthly check if you are perpetually unhappy. Just remember, like horses, no barn is perfect. So, extend the same grace you give when your horse bucks you off for fun to those who manage your barn.
Finally, don’t be a “Karen” like I was….
So yeah, younger me had many opinions about horse care—but not enough hands-on experience. Now that I’m doing the work, I get it. The water buckets, the turnout decisions, the mysterious wounds, the blanket roulette. It’s all part of horse life. Most of the time, it’s not incompetence. Unless your barn is truly neglectful, take a deep breath before you spiral.
Jamie Sindell is a passionate equestrian blogger. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona and a BS in Animal Science from Cornell University. She has ridden and owned hunters on and off throughout her life. She is a mom of five kids who range from ages 4-15. She and her family reside at Wish List Farm, where her horse-crazy girls play with their ponies. Her son and husband play with the tractor. You can follow her on Instagram @wishlistfarm.
