By JOHN HAIME
The stories you tell yourself are often the difference makers in how you perform and how much you might enjoy your riding. Often, comments from those around you, sometimes from your most trusted supporters can be manifested in your stories and make-up your perception of the truth about your riding.
In working with leading professional and amateur equestrians and professional athletes in many sports, I’ve noticed many of the stories equestrians tell themselves are fictional: they are not the real truth, do not reflect their reality, and therefore unproductive. So, your search for the truth in your narrative is the important thing. What is truth and what is fiction in your equestrian narrative?
How the Best Equestrian Athletes Shape Their Voice
What stories do the best equestrian athletes tell themselves to help them get extraordinary results?
Don’t worry, everyone has similar challenges to yours. Even the leading riders and coaches in the world must address their voices, find the truth, and not allow the voice to limit them. Their stories, like yours, result from a variety of circumstances, opinions, experiences, and perceptions.
Olympic gold medalist in dressage Laura Tomlinson had challenges with her voice, but she overcame the stories that she told herself in order to rise to the top echelon of the sport.
“Early in my career—growing up—the story in my thoughts was that I was privileged and blessed, so my voice was repeatedly telling me two stories, based on my results,” she says. “The first was that if I didn’t do well, it was a massive failure. And the second was that if I did do well, I couldn’t really be happy and pleased with it because I felt like I should have done it anyway. I felt like I didn’t have the right not to do well. So, growing up I’ve battled with this judgmental voice. I did well in Young Riders, but never as well as I thought I should have.”
Things changed for Laura with a new partner: the Danish Warmblood Mistral Hojris, or “Alf.”
“The story in my head shifted when I got Alf,” she explains. “He had a reputation for being a difficult horse, and I worked very hard to build a partnership with him. When I eventually started doing well with him, I felt more confident, and I felt I earned the respect of my peers because of the progress I made with him. That’s when the voice started to change from ‘I should be doing well because I’m blessed with things given to me,’ to ‘I’ve worked hard, overcome a difficult challenge, and I know I can ride because I’ve done some great work with a difficult horse.’”
For Laura, a shift in the story her voice was expressing to her changed the game in her riding as she moved forward and won an Olympic team gold medal and individual bronze with Alf in the 2012 London Games. The confidence and trust she had built with her horse elevated her to the top of the sport. The shift from a judgmental voice, creating unrealistic expectations and intolerance, to a more liberating, tolerant voice, creating confidence, was a turning point in her dressage career.
This is a great lesson for you. Laura’s early stories emerged from a place of what she perceived she should achieve, based on her background and status. But when her perception changed and she felt she deserved it because she had done the work and it was more her accomplishment, the voice shifted. She gave herself permission to believe that she could legitimately excel in dressage and be a part of an elite group of riders.
Be mindful of what your voice is telling you. Is it telling you the truth–or is it making up stories, perhaps bringing irrelevant stories from your past into your riding today that are throwing you off the path you have envisioned for yourself.
About the Author
John Haime is the Author of the popular book Ride Big: The Ultimate Guide to Building Equestrian Confidence. He is a world-class mental and emotional performance coach. His clients include some of the world’s leading equestrian athletes as well as amateurs, juniors, and coaches. See equestrian.johnhaime.com for more.
