Brought to you by The Plaidcast
It’s never been easier to see what everyone else is doing—what shows they’re winning, what horses they’re riding, what ribbons they’re taking home. But for today’s riders, especially juniors, that constant stream of curated success is taking a serious toll.
“Social media is a disaster for kids,” high-performance coach John Haime said on episode 441 of The Plaidcast. “They’re looking at their phones and comparing themselves to everyone else. It erodes confidence.” For riders of all levels, falling into the comparison trap can quietly chip away at motivation, self-worth, and joy in the sport.
Confidence Comes from Within, But Comparison Comes from Outside
Haime works with top riders across disciplines, and he sees a recurring pattern: riders who base their confidence on external validation often struggle with consistency and resilience. “If you’re constantly looking outside yourself for approval, you’re not grounded in your own values,” he explained. “Confidence has to come from inside.”
Social media, however, teaches riders to seek that approval elsewhere. Every scroll becomes a new reminder of what someone else has, or what you think you’re missing. “It makes riders feel like they’re not good enough, or like they need to be doing more,” Haime said. “That’s not healthy.”
The Highlight Reel Problem
Platforms like Instagram and TikTok are built on highlights of perfect jumps, big wins, expensive horses, and smiling faces. What you don’t see are the hard lessons, bad days, or tears in the tack room. But riders, especially those still developing their identities, often don’t make that distinction.
“They think everyone else has it all together,” Haime said. “And when they struggle, they feel like they’re the only one.” This distorted lens can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and even burnout.
Why Juniors Are Especially Vulnerable
Teenage years are already a time of intense social and emotional development. Add in horses, competition, and social media, and you get a perfect storm of pressure. Haime pointed out that many juniors he works with are still figuring out who they are and social media often distracts from that process.
“They don’t have clarity on what they value or what’s important to them,” he said. “They start chasing other people’s goals instead of their own.” Over time, this disconnect creates riders who look successful from the outside but feel insecure or unfulfilled on the inside.
What Riders Can Do Instead
The answer isn’t necessarily to delete every app, but to use them differently and to double down on internal development. Haime encourages his riders to invest in themselves, not their image. That means unplugging from comparison and tuning into what really matters.
Here are a few ways to stay grounded:
- Take regular breaks from social media—especially during shows.
- Follow accounts that inspire, not intimidate.
- Reflect on your own goals and values in writing.
- Celebrate progress, not just ribbons.
- Talk with trainers, mentors, or peers who support your growth—not just your results.
Build the Rider, Not the Image
At the core of Haime’s work is helping riders strengthen their foundation: their mindset, their emotional awareness, and their personal identity. “We spend so much time building the horse,” he said. “But we have to build the rider too.”
That work doesn’t show up on Instagram, but it does show up in the ring. Riders who are confident in who they are—independent of social media likes or follower counts—are better equipped to handle setbacks, stay focused, and find fulfillment in the sport.
“You don’t need to be perfect,” Haime said. “You just need to know who you are, what matters to you, and how to keep getting better.”
To hear the full conversation with John Haime, listen to episode 441 on the Plaidcast. Subscribe and follow The Plaidcast on your favorite podcast platform for more conversations that strengthen riders from the inside out.
