Brought to you by The Plaidcast
When it comes to performance, most riders focus on what happens in the ring. But high-performance coach John Haime believes that one of the most overlooked influences on a rider’s success is something far more personal: the people they surround themselves with.
“Who you’re around is critical,” Haime said on episode 441 of The Plaidcast. “If you’re around positive people, people who care about you, want to help you, and believe in you, you have a better chance to succeed.”
It’s a powerful reminder that success doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Riders are shaped not only by their habits and mindset, but also by their communities, and that’s especially true for juniors.
Why Peer Influence Matters More Than You Think
As riders move through their teenage years, they’re developing not only their athletic skills but also their values, identities, and emotional resilience. Haime emphasized that during this stage, peers play an outsized role. “If you’re a teenager, your friends are influencing you more than your parents are,” he said. “That’s just the way it is.”
Whether it’s a barnmate who cheers you on or a teammate who constantly criticizes others, those voices become part of a rider’s internal dialogue. “If you’re around people who are tearing others down or chasing superficial goals, that becomes your environment,” Haime added.
Choose People Who Add Value
Not everyone you ride with or spend time around will lift you up, and that’s okay. Haime’s advice isn’t to avoid every tough interaction, but to be intentional about where you invest your time and energy. “The more you grow as a person, the more you start thinking about who you want to be around,” he said. “That reflection is part of building confidence.”
Klemm echoed this idea with a personal perspective. “The number one thing that changed my life was choosing different people,” she said. “When I was around people who pushed me to be better, everything changed.”
When the Barn Becomes Your Ecosystem
In equestrian sport, the barn is often more than a training center—it’s a second home. Riders spend countless hours there, forming bonds with trainers, grooms, fellow riders, and parents. That makes it even more important to foster a culture of respect, trust, and encouragement.
Haime believes the trainer’s role in this dynamic is especially important. “The trainer has to model the behavior they want their riders to show,” he said. “If they’re positive, respectful, and focused on growth, the riders will be too.”
How to Build a Supportive Circle
No rider gets to choose every teammate or competitor, but you can influence your environment by consciously building relationships with people who reflect your values. Here are a few ways to do that:
- Spend time with those who encourage, not compare.
- Seek mentors who help you grow beyond just riding skills.
- Engage with teammates who celebrate others’ success.
- Avoid gossip and negativity, even when it’s common.
- Be the kind of support you want to receive from others.
The Energy Exchange Is Real
Beyond emotional support, Haime also believes that the energy we absorb from others has a direct impact on performance. “If you’re around someone whose energy is negative or anxious, it affects your own,” he explained. “But when someone believes in you, that energy builds confidence.”
That belief can come from a trainer, parent, friend—or even yourself. But no matter where it starts, it grows faster when it’s reinforced by a healthy environment.
Confidence Is Contagious, But So Is Doubt
One of the most important takeaways from Haime’s coaching is that confidence is a team effort. “We’re all influenced by the people around us, whether we realize it or not,” he said. “And confidence, just like doubt, is contagious.”
By choosing to surround yourself with people who build you up who are committed to learning, growth, and supporting others, you’re not only shaping your own experience. You’re also becoming a positive force in someone else’s story.
To hear the full conversation with John Haime, listen to episode 441 on the Plaidcast. Subscribe and follow The Plaidcast on your favorite podcast platform for more conversations about developing great riders, and great people.
