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In the high-pressure world of hunter/jumper competition, emotions are everywhere. From disappointment after a tough round, relief after a big breakthrough to frustration when things don’t go as planned. But for many riders, those feelings get bottled up instead of processed, especially when tears are involved.
“Crying is healthy,” high-performance coach John Haime said on episode 441 of The Plaidcast. “That’s you expressing emotion, and it’s okay.” Despite the long-held belief that crying equals weakness or failure, Haime believes it’s a natural part of the athletic experience, and sometimes a necessary one.
The Real Reason Riders Get Emotional
For riders who care deeply, emotions are not only expected—they’re inevitable. When you pour your time, money, and heart into the sport, the stakes feel personal. But the tendency to suppress emotion can lead to bigger problems.
“If you push it down or avoid it, it doesn’t go away,” Haime explained. “It just comes out in other ways—like anxiety, burnout, or lack of motivation.” Learning to process emotions openly and honestly, rather than pretending they don’t exist, is part of becoming a stronger athlete.
You’re Allowed to Feel
Whether it’s crying after a rail or feeling nervous before a round, many riders are taught to “toughen up” instead of tuning in. Haime challenges that mindset. “You’re a human being first,” he said. “Feeling is part of being human, and it’s part of performing.”
That’s especially important for young riders who are still building emotional resilience. “We expect them to act like professionals when they’re still figuring things out,” he said. “We need to teach them how to handle disappointment, not shame them for showing it.”
Emotion Is Information
Rather than viewing tears as a sign of weakness, Haime encourages riders to see emotion as a signal. “It’s telling you something matters,” he said. “It’s a sign you care, that you’re invested.” Instead of shutting it down, riders can learn to pause, reflect, and understand what those emotions are trying to communicate.
By reframing emotional expression as valuable feedback—not failure—riders build the awareness they need to improve both mentally and physically.
Parents and Trainers Set the Tone
The way adults respond to emotion in young athletes can have a lasting impact. “If a kid comes out of the ring upset and the parent says, ‘Stop crying,’ that teaches them emotions are bad,” Haime said. “Instead, what if we said, ‘Let’s talk about it. What are you feeling? What can we learn from this?’”
Creating space for open dialogue doesn’t just build better riders. It builds healthier people. When adults normalize emotions, they help young athletes develop emotional literacy, resilience, and self-trust.
How to Process Emotions Constructively
Haime works with athletes across disciplines to develop strategies for recognizing, understanding, and working through emotion. His approach starts with permission: You’re allowed to feel. Then, it’s about creating a process for moving forward. He encourages riders to:
- Name the emotion they’re feeling without judgment.
- Reflect on what triggered it, competition, comparison, pressure?
- Take a break if needed—emotions don’t need to be fixed immediately.
- Talk it out with someone trusted.
- Use the experience to fuel growth, not shame.
Emotion Isn’t a Distraction—It’s a Strength
Ultimately, learning to manage emotions gives riders an edge. It helps them stay calm under pressure, bounce back after mistakes, and ride with greater authenticity. “You can’t perform at your best if you’re disconnected from how you feel,” Haime said. “The best athletes in the world know how to feel and still perform.”
By embracing emotional expression, rather than hiding from it, riders become more grounded, self-aware, and mentally strong. That kind of strength doesn’t always look stoic—and sometimes, it looks like a few tears after giving it your all.
To hear the full conversation with John Haime, listen to episode 441 on the Plaidcast. Subscribe and follow The Plaidcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear more stories that celebrate the full spectrum of what it means to be a rider.
