Welcome to Trainer Tuesday! Each week we ask trainers a question and gather their answers for you. These trainers have a range of experience, backgrounds, and focus points of their programs, so the answers have as much variation as you would expect and also probably much more similarity.
This week’s question posed is: If a client is rapidly outgrowing a goal they’re attached to or a specific pony, how do you consciously tell them it’s time to move on?
Here are their answers:
“When a client is outgrowing a pony or a goal they’ve held close, I approach it gently. I tell them that every partnership has chapters, and just because one chapter is closing doesn’t mean the story ends. The pony helped shape who they are, gave them confidence, taught them patience, and carried them through big moments. Moving on doesn’t take any of that away. It simply means they’ve grown, and it’s time for a new partner to help them write the next part of their story.
With a child, I will often say the pony has taught them everything they can, and it is time for them to teach their next child. A horse or pony is not a tool; they becomes a family member and needs to be handled as such. That is the hardest part, and it needs to be handled delicately. I have to do it with my own children.” -Kellie Riordan
“I believe it’s essential to set goals with riders and to continually evaluate and discuss those goals throughout the season. Embracing and adapting to change is critical for growth. I know it can be difficult, especially for riders who are attached to a particular horse or pony, or those experiencing success at their current level, to take the next step.
My job is to help riders grow, and I will never ask them to do something they’re not capable of. Even when they may doubt themselves, I have absolute confidence in what they can achieve. It’s important to me that every rider knows how strongly I believe in their ability. When you have faith in your trainer, it builds faith in yourself, and that turns transitions into exciting opportunities rather than something to fear.” -Sue Chambers
“If the goal is incongruent with horsemanship, ethics, or safety, I would discuss how those factors misalign with their goals and encourage them to take agency in the decision-making process.” -Stefanie Mazer
“Based on where you see yourself in 6 months, we should look into what more we can learn from this equine partner, and be honest with their expectations of us. We should give them the best opportunity to succeed for our needs.
Not all horses/ponies can help us reach our potential, but they are instrumental in the process, and we owe it to them to pursue that potential, with or without them.” –Nerice Gulino
“Physically outgrowing a pony is not too difficult for a kid to understand. With the advice of parents and trainers, the rider will realize that their beloved pony is shrinking in size and ability as they grow physically and in the sport.
Meanwhile, the thought of outgrowing goals and moving on to greater/bigger things needs to be taken seriously. Jumping bigger is not always the key; the answer lies in becoming a better rider and horse person. I would rather have a well-rounded and sensitive horse person jumping 2’6 fences in a very good way than a mediocre/poorly educated person pretending to belong in a 3’6 division. Make sense for the horse first, and don’t hold yourself back. By keeping up the hard work, the following steps will be easy to recognize.” -JJ Lavieri
“When clients begin to outgrow their horses, I find that being direct and honest is the most effective approach. I typically sit down with them to discuss their goals and to evaluate what is fair and reasonable to expect from their horse or pony. Our priority is always the well-being of the horse; we never want to push an animal beyond what it can comfortably and safely do.
We remain focused on ensuring that each horse–rider partnership is the right match for the rider’s objectives. If a rider prefers not to transition to a new horse, we work together to adjust their goals so they align with the horse’s abilities.” –Alexandra Jadovich
“I would recommend asking for feedback from your client and/or parent if a minor, engaging them in an open discussion where they are not feeling instructed. Asking them what they find to be easy and no longer challenging with their goal will help them identify and acknowledge the goal they are outgrowing.
Explore setting a new goal collectively and proposing an appropriate timeline in which this process should begin, so the “move up” or transition does not feel rushed. As you discuss the new goal, remind your client that in order to continue with progression, a new partnership may be warranted given their mounts limitations and not due to their own. Ultimately, it’s a team effort, not only for the horse and rider, but for the trainer as well.” -Quinn Partridge
“I believe it’s essential to talk about goals right from the very beginning. Understanding a client’s mindset, where they want to go, what they hope to accomplish, and the pace at which they want to progress, allows us to set a hypothetical timeline and ensure everyone is aligned.
When working with children, these conversations always include both the child and the parent. We explain suitability, the developmental stages of riding, and what will eventually be needed for them to grow. We also discuss the financial pathway early on so that families are prepared long before a transition becomes necessary.
If the family owns the pony, we talk through lease or sale options well in advance. Short- and long-term planning is incredibly important; decisions should never be made in crisis. I also make sure my students ride multiple ponies and horses so they stay versatile. Truthfully, the horses and ponies are the best trainers of all!
So, to best answer the question: the conversation should happen long before the child has outgrown the pony or the goal. When you frame it as a progression toward the next level, and you’ve already built a plan together, the transition feels natural. I check in regularly along the way so there are never any surprises, just steady growth and excitement about what comes next.” –Sue Peterson
“You have to determine where your client’s priority lies. I would meet with the client to discuss their goals. It’s miserable to be stuck in a losing rut. Some clients prioritize their goals. If they need a new mount, they’re willing and able to make a change by leasing or selling their current mount and moving to another.
Other clients would rather change their goal than part with their horse, and I can respect that. Perhaps their hunter would be best suited for the jumper ring. Or perhaps their equitation horse needs to take the pressure off and move into the 3′ Hunters. That kind of client can be a joy and help us trainers focus on what’s truly most important: the horse as a willing partner.” –Janet Salem
“Transparency is always best. I would explain what is happening, why, and give suggestions on next steps. Then together, the next step can be chosen, and all feel good about it and a part of the process.” -Melissa Kalember
“This is such a difficult conversation, but in my experience, the client usually knows when it’s time to find another partner or change their own focus and goals to work with their current partner’s limitations. The clients are often relieved when I start this conversation, usually talking about the rider’s goals with that horse, then ask if they feel that this is still a goal they would like to pursue or if we need to re-goal. Or if they came inappropriately mounted, ask if they like/like riding that horse! This is often enough to get an honest conversation started.” -Amy Nichols
“I have had numerous clients, of all ages, who needed to move on from their current pony or goal. Most recently, I have had a client who accomplished her goal on her current pony. It was a well-deserved victory; however, after discussing with her if she wanted to continue on from that original goal, the answer was yes. It was at this point that the difficult discussion started.
As much as her new goal was obtainable for the rider, it was not for her current pony. Instead of taking the ‘rip the band-aid off’ approach, we started with one day a week (she normally rides three to four times a week), until we transitioned completely onto her new pony. This took approximately a month. Occasionally, I put her back on her previous pony as she is still her favorite. Those rides are reserved for hack days or trail rides. This has taught the rider that her original pony can still be her favorite, but the previous pony’s limitations compared to her new pony are significant enough that she needed to move forward.
As much as I can be resolute, this situation is not one of them. What I have learned over the years is that these transitions need to be not only planned, but trainers also need to be patient. The client understands that growth, change, and transition are needed. What we, as trainers, need to be mindful of is the emotional and mental transition the client will undergo. New pony, new skills, new goals. It can feel overwhelming and unachievable some days. Those days are the times I will let them get back on their previous pony and just enjoy the ride. More times than not, that is all the client needs to boost their confidence to keep trekking forward to their new goals.” -Justyne Albright
