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In a sport increasingly defined by pressure, early specialization, and packed show schedules, it’s easy to assume that success requires doing more—more riding, more showing, more intensity, more sacrifice. But for Jimmy and Danielle Torano, raising a top junior rider has been less about pushing harder and more about knowing when to step back.
Their son, JJ Torano, has already achieved what many riders spend an entire junior career chasing. He has won the USEF Medal Finals, captured the ASPCA Maclay Championship, earned top results at the National Horse Show, and competed successfully across hunters, equitation, and jumpers—all before his mid-teens. Yet when the Toranos talk about JJ’s development, accolades are not the centerpiece. Longevity is.
Letting the Rider Choose the Path
One of the most defining moments in JJ’s riding career didn’t happen in the show ring. It happened when he chose horses over baseball.
Initially, JJ balanced both worlds—riding at horse shows, then heading straight to the baseball field for doubleheaders and late-night practices. Eventually, the choice became unavoidable. JJ made his school baseball team, then came home and told his parents he didn’t think he could continue.
“He said, ‘I don’t think I can play,’” Danielle recalled. “And I asked why. He said, ‘Because I’m going to have to miss, and I want to ride.’ That was 100 percent his choice.”
That moment mattered. Rather than being steered toward riding by expectations or legacy, JJ chose it himself. Once that decision was made, Danielle said, “he was all in.” But even then, the family was careful not to turn riding into a job too soon.
Building Structure Without Burnout
At 14, JJ rides at an elite level, but his weekly schedule may surprise people. Danielle intentionally designed it to protect both his body and his motivation.
Monday is a full day off, a standard in many barns. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are light, sometimes no riding at all unless something truly requires attention. Thursday becomes a practice day. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are when JJ shows and competes heavily.
“We don’t want this to be a job for him yet,” Jimmy explained. “We don’t want him burned out. We want this to last a long time.”
That balance, riding enough to develop skill, but not so much that the joy disappears, has been critical. The Toranos are acutely aware that today’s young riders face demands that didn’t exist a generation ago. In nearly every youth sport, being “all in” has become the baseline expectation, not the exception.
“If you choose a sport now, you have to be all in because everybody else is,” Danielle said. “That’s hard on kids.”
Learning to Lose After Learning to Win
One of the less obvious challenges of JJ’s early success has been learning how to lose.
“He won too much too early,” Jimmy said candidly. “He learned how to win before he learned how to lose.”
That reality showed itself after a bronze-medal finish at the Pessoa/USEF Hunter Seat Medal Finals, where JJ was notably hard on himself. The Toranos recognized the risk immediately. A perfectionist mindset can fuel excellence, but it can also derail it.
Now, when a round doesn’t go well, they give JJ space. No immediate analysis. No post-mortem at the ingate.
“We leave him alone for a little while,” Jimmy said. “We wait until he comes to us.”
JJ also works with a sports psychologist, a step the Toranos say has been very helpful as he learns to manage pressure at the top level. Mental resilience, they believe, is foundational to performance.
“You lose more than you win in this sport,” Jimmy said. “If you want to ride on championship teams, that’s something you have to learn to manage.”
Protecting Childhood Alongside Ambition
For Danielle, the emotional side of parenting a high-performance athlete has been one of the hardest adjustments.
“It’s much easier to go in the ring yourself than to watch your child do it,” she admitted. “Sometimes I’d rather not watch at all.”
Early on, fear centered on safety. Now, it’s about pressure—making sure JJ stays grounded, stays in school, and still gets to be a kid. Danielle is adamant about keeping JJ in brick-and-mortar school for as long as possible. “If he’s not in school, he’s working with us,” she said. “And he’s too young for that.”
Their family’s perspective is also shaped by JJ’s older sister, Natalia, who chose a completely different path. She stepped away from riding as a young teenager and pursued theater instead. Danielle made a point never to miss her performance milestones, even if it meant stepping away from the barn.
That experience, Danielle said, gave her clarity. Supporting one child’s ambition shouldn’t come at the expense of another’s childhood—or their own sense of belonging.
Playing the Long Game
For the Toranos, success isn’t measured by how much they love the sport over time and whether they’re equipped to sustain a career beyond the junior ranks. Records are exciting. Championships matter. But none of it means much if the rider is burned out before they ever reach their prime.
“We’re trying to guide him,” Jimmy said. “Not rush him.”
In an era that often rewards speed over sustainability, the Toranos’ approach is a reminder that the most successful programs aren’t always the loudest or the busiest. Sometimes, they’re the ones quietly making room for rest, reflection, and the simple truth that greatness takes time.
Want more insight from Jimmy and Danielle Torano? Listen to this episode 460 of The Plaidcast and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform for conversations with the most influential voices in the equestrian world.
