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Every rider has had a round that slowly unraveled jump after jump. A missed distance turns into a rushed line. Before you know it, one mistake has quietly become three, not because you don’t know how to fix it, but because you never quite got back to where you were before it happened.
In those moments, the instinct is to focus on the mistake itself. To ride better and fix the next distance. But how you process after is often how you can move forward to improve next time.
Clinical psychologist Paul Haefner, Ph.D., who works extensively with equestrians, helps with riders’ ability to manage their internal state in real time. “If we want to do well, we have to be well,” he explains. That idea shifts the focus away from isolated mistakes and toward the system delivering the performance.
The Moment a Round Starts to Slip
Riders are taught to “move on” after a mistake, but very few are actually taught how to do it. A mistake changes your mental state. Your thoughts speed up, body tightens, breathing shifts, and focus drifts backward instead of forward. At that point, you’re no longer riding the course in front of you, but reacting to what already happened.
Haefner describes performance in terms of regulation: the ability to stay behaviorally, emotionally, and mentally steady enough to respond to what’s happening in the moment. When that system becomes overloaded, even experienced riders can struggle to access what they already know how to do.
Why Riders Get Stuck
When things start to go wrong, many riders instinctively try to override it. They ride stronger, add more leg, or try to fix the next line. But effort layered on top of tension rarely creates clarity.
Without a way to reset, stress begins to stack. Each moment adds to the next. Nothing gets released.
Haefner sees this pattern frequently. If a rider doesn’t have the ability to calm their system, the pressure accumulates. “If you can’t calm your nervous system, then you’re always going to be stacking,” he says. That buildup is what turns a single mistake into a disrupted round.
What a Reset Actually Is
A reset isn’t stopping the round or pretending nothing happened. It’s a quick return to a functional state. Sometimes it’s a breath that brings your body back under control. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision to refocus on the next fence. Sometimes it’s a small physical adjustment that reconnects you to the horse.
A reset interrupts the spiral and creates just enough space to come back to the present moment. Haefner stresses that riders need to build the capacity for it first. That includes practicing skills like focus, emotional regulation, and the ability to let go. So when something goes wrong, there is a way back. Without that foundation, “just move on” isn’t a strategy, but a hope.
Why This Changes Everything
At the highest levels of the sport, the difference between riders can be how fast they recover from mistakes. Great riders miss distances and have errors, but they don’t let those moments define the rest of the round. They find their way back—sometimes within a stride.
That ability creates consistency. It also changes the rider’s experience. Instead of feeling like one mistake ruins everything, the ride becomes more fluid and adaptable. Riders are able to stay present longer, reconnect more quickly, and maintain a clearer line of communication with their horse.
Haefner has seen that shift extend beyond performance. As riders develop the ability to regulate and reset, they ride better and reconnect with the experience itself. The work becomes, as he describes it, “a key to unlocking the joy in the endeavor.”
A Skill Worth Training
Riders spend hours perfecting technique. They practice courses, transitions, and position with precision. But very few actively practice how to recover. And yet, that skill may be one of the most important they can develop.
Because riding will never be mistake-free. Horses are unpredictable. Pressure is part of the sport. Riders who build the ability to return to a steady, present state have a way back to focus and connection. And they can do it in the middle of the round when it matters most.
Want more insight from Paul Haefner, Ph.D.? Listen to episode 479 of The Plaidcast and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform for conversations with the most influential voices in the equestrian world.
