BY JAMIE SINDELL
My husband did not grow up dreaming about horses.
I am 100 percent certain that nowhere on his list of life goals was “own a horse farm,” “haul horse trailers,” or “worry about how much a bale of hay costs.”
And yet, here we are. Somewhere along the way, he became a farm owner and a horse dad. And not just any horse dad, one of the good ones. Not because he loves horses the way our daughters do. But because he loves my daughters, and he loves me.
I think that’s true of a lot of horse dads. Most of them never planned for this crazy life. They didn’t grow up memorizing bloodlines, watching horse shows, or dreaming about trips to Devon. They certainly didn’t imagine spending weekends in the blazing sun, waiting hours for a class that lasts for two minutes. Yet somehow, they find themselves living the horse life.
They learn how to back trailers. They learn how to catch horses. They learn that horse show schedules are more of a kind-of-sort-of than an actual plan. They learn that a quick stop at the tack store for something small is never actually quick (and never actually cheap).
They learn because someone they love loves horses. And before long, they embrace this life too.
My husband has learned all kinds of things he never planned on learning, and probably never wanted to learn. He owns a horse trailer he never asked for when he would much prefer a fishing boat. He spends weekends, after a long work week, dragging rings, fixing fences, repairing waterers, and tackling a never-ending list of farm projects instead of relaxing. He does night check before bed instead of chilling in front of his favorite show. He knows which horses need extra grain and when it’s time to buy more. He knows which gates don’t latch correctly. Then he buys the new latch and replaces it. None of that was part of the original plan.
He does this because he understands the joy the horses bring his family. He sees the grins on his girls’ faces when they hug their pony. And he is far from alone.
Across the country, horse dads spend weekends at horse shows when they would probably rather be golfing, fishing, watching football, or taking a well-earned rest on the couch.
They stand at the rail cheering even when they aren’t entirely sure what just happened in the ring. They clap just as hard for a blue ribbon as they do for a rail down because they know what matters isn’t the placing. It’s the pride in their chest when they see their kid sitting in the saddle. They’ve lived the early mornings, the tears, the setbacks, and the good lessons that eventually led to that moment in the show ring. And they are showing up for it.
They are learning how to tie stock ties five minutes before a derby. Leading tiny riders through leadline classes and whispering “heels down.” Carrying tack trunks that weigh a ton, finding much-needed caffeination, making donut runs, and somehow keeping track of a gnarly horse show schedule that seems to change by the second. They do it because they know this sport isn’t just a hobby for their kids. It’s what they live and breathe. And when they see their kids win their first ribbon, they try their best to hold back the tears.
Some are sitting in the kitchen with their spouses, trying to figure out how to make one more lesson, one more horse show, or one more opportunity fit into the family budget. Some work long hours and then spend their weekends at horse shows anyway. They go from the job that pays for the horses to the horses themselves without much of a break in between. They give up things they might have wanted for themselves because they see everything this sport gives their children. That pool? Forget about it. That vacation to the Caribbean? Maybe next year. Zero complaints, though. Okay, limited complaints.
The amazing thing is that most horse dads aren’t doing it for the horses.
They’re doing it for the happiness. For the little girl who can’t stop chatting about her perfect course on the drive home from her lesson. They’re doing it for the teenager chasing a dream of qualifying for Indoors. They’re doing it for the confidence that grows one ride at a time. They’re doing it for the life lessons that happen outside the show ring. They’re doing it because their kids are truly passionate. They’re doing it because they’re watching their little girls with pigtail braids become incredible young ladies.
And that is what makes horse dads so special.
They willingly step into a world they never would have chosen for themselves simply because someone they love chose it. They learn a new language of martingales, French Links, and half pads. They learn new priorities like pony chiro appointments and joint supplements. They learn how to celebrate accomplishments that most of their friends don’t fully understand.
They become horse people by association and horse dads by choice.
One day there won’t be another leadline class. One day there won’t be another pony to load. The kids will grow up. The horses will change. The ribbons will sit in dusty boxes. But the memories of all those weekends, lessons, and miles traveled together will remain. The pride, the laughter, the love and the time spent together will remain too.
So, here’s to the horse dads. The ones lugging the tack trunks. The ones fixing fences. The ones writing board checks. The ones cheering like crazy at the rail. The ones making sacrifices nobody sees or celebrates. Thank you.
Because though few men grow up dreaming about becoming horse dads, some of the very best dads become one anyway.
Jamie Sindell is a passionate equestrian blogger. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona and a BS in Animal Science from Cornell University. She has ridden and owned hunters on and off throughout her life. She is a mom of five kids who range from ages 5-16. She and her family reside at Wish List Farm, where her horse-crazy girls play with their ponies. Her son and husband play with the tractor. You can follow her on Instagram @wishlistfarm.
