BY ELIKO VIVIAN SMITH
My Apple iPhone is, fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be, a fifth appendage that I am rarely without. It is a mostly silent and rarely helpful device that steals my time and often distracts me from the actual business of living.
However, there is an app on this device that has had a powerful impact on my life even though I have only interacted with it about ten times in the three years it has been installed on my phone. The app is called “Be My Eyes,” and it connects me as a sighted person to a visually impaired person who needs help with some sort of task, like reading a label or knowing what the color of an item is. This app allows me to help a stranger in real time, which is awesome, and it also grants me a small snippet of a window into their lives. These glimpses are fleeting but indelible, and I often wonder who these folks are besides someone who needed my help for a brief moment.
Life in the real world is so much like “Be My Eyes” in that we often only get glimpses of people that we use to formulate our understanding of who they are. Sometimes these snapshots form a fuller album, but most of the time we are left with gaps and only a partial understanding of who someone truly is.
When people first look at me, I’m not sure what they think. They can see my mid-aged appearance, but they cannot always discern my ethnicity or other more important things about me, like what is in my heart and how I live my life. But judgments and decisions are made based upon these initial noticings, and that is just the way life rolls.
But the thing is, what I would want people to know about me is how much of my life, my ethos, and who I am as a person has been shaped by the equine world. In fact, the lens by which I see the world has been coated with more empathy, more love for life and adventure, and this beautiful planet because I have been fortunate enough to be a part of the horse world for so much of my life. I have been taught by some of the most wonderful horses (and people).
Sir Lancelot was my aunt’s chestnut QH gelding. He was the first horse I ever rode when I was about eight years old. I fell in love immediately. My parents are not animal people, so I know that I got this love of horses (and animals in general) from my aunt and her mother, my Nana. (May they both rest in peace.)
Sir Chumley was the next steed that I had the pleasure to know. After begging my parents for riding lessons, they brought me to Suburban Essex Equestrian Center, which, to me, seemed like heaven on Earth. Chumley taught me patience and the joy of cantering on a feisty old pony. I graduated from Chum to other school horses at SEEC, and I also had a stint mucking the heck out of stalls for a day at Montville Equestrian Center to earn a 45-minute lesson on whomever. I didn’t care because I loved them all.
I would come home at the end of the day, and my mom would say, “You stink.” I’d just smile to myself and think, “Good,” because there was no better ambrosia, no more perfect fragrance than that of the barn – leather and hay, the oats in the horses’ buckets, dare I say, even the manure. The most soothing and beautiful symphony to me was hearing the horses crunching on their hay, the soft rustling in their stalls, the occasional kerfuffle of stall mates – all of it was lyrical to my ears.
During college, I rode a succession of horses at various places around Lancaster, PA. I was busy with work and school, but it was so important to me to keep connected to the horse world in whatever way I could. Cowboy was one of my favorites, an off-track dark bay TB gelding. We even ribboned in a few shows together, and I wish we’d had more time together.
After college was kind of a blur of working in NYC and trying to be an adult while also wanting to be in the saddle. I had a stint at Bergen Equestrian Center where I continued my journey for a few years, honing my craft and being in the environment that I loved. I got married, and I was whisked away to live in Syracuse. I knew no one there, and it was a complete culture shock from home.
I happened upon Route 80 Stables in Nedrow that had a huge herd of horses. You could trail ride them in acres and acres of woods. My slightly snooty English rider self almost didn’t give this place a chance, but here I fell in love with (do you see a pattern here?) a nondescript fuzzy bay grade gelding named Iowa who was missing the tips of both of his ears. He may not have been the showiest or the flashiest, but he was definitely the smartest horse I have ever known. He knew his way around those woods better than anyone. Nothing scared him, and there was no better feeling than letting him run and feeling like we could fly. I trusted him implicitly, and he never let me down. I miss him to this day.
After three years in Syracuse, we moved back to NJ, and I was back to working in NYC. Work was hectic, but I went back to BEC and kept up riding there and in Montville. Then my marriage (and life) imploded, and I moved to Southern California. Here I had a bit more “grown-up” money, and I was able to put more effort into trying to find a horse of my own.
At Ridgemar, I partially leased an older schoolmaster, a dark bay TB gelding named Artie. Oh my heart, he was such a wonderful horse to ride. We understood each other, and he took care of me while also continuing to teach me. I remember when we first cantered a small course; our distances and strides felt absolutely perfect, and I thought that he was made of magic. He made me feel like I knew what I was doing, and for this, I will always be grateful to him. He was truly a gentleman of a horse, and when he passed away a few years ago, I was bereft. The times I spent with him were some of the best I had in SoCal.
An opportunity to ½ lease a cute Westphalian cross mare named Tallulah came up at a nearby backyard barn, so I took it. Her brother, Buckaroo, a Chestnut QH gelding, kind of came with the deal too, because their owners were very busy and didn’t have a lot of time to ride. I lessoned with Tallulah once a week, and then I could ride around on both of them a few days a week. For a year, this was so sweet… I trained her in the round pen, took her on trails outside the property, and treated both of them like they were my own horses. Then reality hit, and their owners decided to move them to a different facility that didn’t align with my riding goals, and so I was horseless once again.
As luck would have it, a friend of mine from work has an awesome daughter who has been riding for a few years now. She invited me to try her barn, which is where I am now. I lessoned there, trying lots of different horses for about six months, and then I was given the opportunity to half-lease Rya, a gorgeous & sassy bay TB mare with the cutest crooked blaze, who is a beautiful mover.
Currently, at this barn, I’ve been enjoying the San Diego summer and living out my horse girl (woman) dreams. The thing is that for most of us who love and work with horses, our experiences may be very different, but what binds us all together is the love we share for these amazing creatures, and the partnerships we form with them.
I’m about to turn 51, and I’ve still never owned a horse of my own, but I’ve come close. I still don’t know if I ever will, but what I’d truly want people to know about me if they had a quick snapshot of me, like the one I get when I help someone on “Be My Eyes,” is that we are all more than what we appear to be on the outside.
My heart beats to the rhythm of cantering hooves on the sand, the quiet whiffle of a soft nose through hay, and the most adorable way Rya pops her head up to see me when I call her name. Horses are my North Star, and they’ve given me so much, including the ability to know myself and what I am truly made of. Horses will always be a part of my life, just like they are a part of yours, and this is what connects us all across our differences. When I go to the barn to ride Rya, I leave my phone in the car because whatever it is can wait.
Eliko lives in San Diego with her pittie, Cali Bear. She teaches English locally, and when she’s not at the barn or at home, you can find her enjoying a sunset at the beach, spending time with family & friends, or staying cool with an iced coffee.
