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Horse shows are a test of skill, preparation, and partnership. But for young riders, another factor often weighs heavily: parental involvement. The cheers, critiques, and even facial expressions of a parent on the rail can either build confidence or add layers of anxiety. Psychologist and longtime hunter/jumper trainer Dr. Stefanie Mazer, PsyD, has seen both sides and she believes that awareness and boundaries are key to helping young riders thrive.
Emotions Are Contagious
When parents are deeply invested in their child’s riding, emotions run high. “Parents are playing a huge role,” Dr. Mazer explained. “Sometimes it’s a leg up. They’re able to invest in a higher-quality horse. But it can also bring more anxiety, because parents want outcomes to match their investment.”
That intensity often shows in small but powerful ways. “Running up to your child as they come out of the ring has a bigger impact than people maybe acknowledge,” she said. “Emotions can be contagious. The child picks up on it immediately.”
The Importance of Boundaries
Dr. Mazer draws a parallel between horse handling and parenting. “Trainers are really great at keeping boundaries around horses. We know where the kick zone is, where horses are comfortable being touched, how close we can stand. But we need to be just as cognizant with kids, especially those under 18, about their space and how we interact with them before or after a round.”
In practice, that means giving riders a moment to process before offering feedback. It also means recognizing that, in the show environment, pressure is already at its peak. Adding more emotion in those moments can overwhelm rather than encourage.
Balancing Support and Pressure
Parents’ support is essential in equestrian sport. Financial investment, time, and emotional encouragement all contribute to a child’s opportunity to ride. But Dr. Mazer cautions that well-meaning involvement can sometimes cross into counterproductive pressure.
“The more money you spend, the more quality of a horse typically,” she said. “Better horses may make the canter easier and make it easier to find a distance. But with that investment comes anxiety. Parents want outcomes, and kids feel those expectations.”
The balance, she emphasized, comes from awareness. Parents who recognize their own emotions and choose when and how to express them can foster a healthier environment for their child.
For Dr. Mazer, supporting young riders means looking at the whole system: the rider, the trainer, the family, and the horse. “Boundaries and awareness don’t mean parents step back entirely,” she said. “It means working together with trainers, vets, farriers, and the rest of the team to identify where pressure is coming from and how to manage it constructively.”
By reframing involvement as collaboration rather than control, parents can help create a supportive system that empowers young riders instead of overwhelming them.
Ultimately, the goal is growth in confidence, resilience, and enjoyment of the sport. “Parents want the best for their kids,” Dr. Mazer said. “But the way we show that support matters. If we can set boundaries, manage emotions, and let kids process their experiences, we give them the best chance to succeed not just in the ring, but in life.”
Want more from Harlow Bottarini and Dr. Stefanie Mazer? Listen to their episode of The Plaidchat and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform for conversations with the most influential voices in the equestrian world.
