By SARAH LOUISE LILLEY
Anxiety started taking all the fun out of my riding!
I had a minor fall and broke my finger. It wasn’t a big deal, and I was back on a horse in a couple of months. But now I had this low-level anxiety I couldn’t shake–It was soooooo frustrating, and it was ruining my favorite thing to do.
I’d always been a confident rider. I had other falls. What the #%€* was going on?
To top it off, I was a mindset coach at the time! I was using ALL my tools, and nothing worked. I visualized, I used positive self-talk, I accepted the element of risk in the sport, I rode a different horse…..
If anything, the anxiety was getting worse, and I started to feel like there was something wrong with me.
What do I wish someone had told me back then?
- You’re not alone.
- Your body isn’t out of control, it’s a badass at keeping you safe.
- The anxiety is not in your head (it’s in your body.)
- There’s nothing wrong with you, you just need a tool to process and release the trauma.
- This is a solvable problem
Trauma in the Horse World
Many equestrians have experienced trauma at some point and don’t even realize it.
There are 4 characteristics of a traumatic event. If 1 of these 4 conditions is met, your brain might code that memory as a traumatic event:
- Have a threat (or a perceived threat) to your physical safety
- Have your capacity to cope overwhelmed, producing a sense of powerlessness.
- Produce a feeling of being isolated or alone
- Violate your expectations
Let’s say you’ve been kicked by a horse–a threat to your physical safety. Likely, it felt like it ‘came out of nowhere’–your expectations were violated. And maybe your trainer was not very supportive–and now you feel isolated.
What I want to normalize is, even if you think logically, “I wasn’t kicked that hard, I’m totally fine now,” it might not matter. From a nervous system’s perspective, you’ve been through something traumatic.
So what finally helped? Emotional Freedom Technique.
To quote the title of Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book, “The Body Keeps The Score.”
It wasn’t until I used Emotional Freedom Technique, aka EFT or “Tapping,” and explored my body’s reactions that I was able to move past my anxiety.
Yes! The thing that finally helped me was tapping on 9 acupressure points on my face and torso. (It may sound “woo woo”, but stick with me here. Clinical studies show EFT sends calming signals to the brain and rewires your neural pathways. There are 200+ articles in peer-reviewed journals proving the efficacy of EFT!)
Once I resolved that trauma, my anxiety just dissipated. Suddenly I felt in control again, I could choose how I wanted to show up as opposed to coming from a fearful place.
I felt like myself again!!! EFT gave me back the joy and connection of being with horses.
After that, I was all in!
I pivoted my business to support equestrians overcome fears, blocks, and trauma so they could reconnect to their confidence, truly partner with their horse, and most importantly, find the FUN again in their horse journey.
I work with clients all over the world via Zoom.
Clients like Laurie, who had a really scary fall riding, were having typical PTSD like symptoms–intrusive thoughts, and flashes of things she saw or felt that day. She desperately wanted to ride again, but it felt impossible. Just thinking about riding, she could feel the panic in her body. Part of her thought about giving up riding. She even considered selling her horse. She felt like she had lost a part of herself and didn’t know how to get it back.
We tapped, and over the course of a month, we rewired her brain around that trauma so it no longer triggered her. Laurie texted me a few months later to tell me she was buying a second horse!
Sometimes Trauma Shows Up in a Different Way
Many equestrians struggle with boundaries, people-pleasing, or perfectionism:
- Like Sophie, who in her groundwork had a hard time communicating clearly with her exuberant young horse.
- Or Hannah, who rode beautifully at home but fell apart in the pressure of the show ring.
- Or Lisa, a barn owner struggling with burnout and holding boundaries with challenging clients.
You have to address the root cause of these old habits, these survival skills, and teach your nervous system that it’s safe to show up in a new way.
Why is EFT Such a Great Fit for Equestrians?
Not only is EFT a great tool to move past trauma, it’s also an amazing emotional regulation tool.
Horses mean everything to equestrians! That means emotions run high. Whether it’s a really disappointing ride or your horse is suddenly hurt, the future looks uncertain. Those emotions are not in your head, they’re in your body! EFT gives you a somatic tool to emotionally regulate so you can navigate the inevitable ups and downs of #HorseLife with more ease.
Horses are highly sensitive to our energy; if we’re hurried and rushed, they feel it. Tapping is a quick and easy tool (that requires nothing but your fingertips) to bring calm to the nervous system before you ride as part of an everyday pre-ride ritual. By centering your energy, you create more trust and connection with your horse.
We have horses because we love them…
So if riding no longer feels fun, safe, or joyful, that’s not a failure–it’s a sign your nervous system needs support. EFT is the tool I wish I’d found sooner. It’s simple, effective, and it works.
If your nervous system has been whispering–or screaming–that something isn’t right, maybe this is your sign to stop white-knuckling it through fear or pressure and try something new.
About the author: Sarah Louise Lilley is a clinical EFT practitioner who helps equestrians overcome fear, blocks, and trauma–both in and out of the saddle. A sought-after coach, speaker, and guest on numerous equestrian podcasts, she’s known for her holistic, heart-centered approach that empowers riders to release the root causes of anxious thinking and limiting beliefs. Through her work, Sarah equips equestrians with tools to cultivate ease, trust, and clarity–so they can ride with confidence. Struggling with riding anxiety? Download her FREE 10-minute “Fearless & Free” Tapping Audio at EmotionalFreedomwithSarah.com, or come say hi on Instagram @SarahLouiseLilley.
