Heal Childhood Wounds with the Help of Your Horse

Photo © Heather N. Photography

By The Love Guru Blaire

Everything in life can be looked at on the surface level or you can go deeper and look for the deeper meaning. The latter is how I live and how I guide my horse healing clients. People come to me to identify, heal, and clear their horse who has experienced trauma and abuse. But people also come to me to heal and clear their riding performance issues, which stems back to their own  trauma, pain, and childhood wounds.  

Riding Your Horse as a Way to Go Deeper Into You

You can go about riding and showing and continue to look at it as just that, “I’m riding my horse today,” or “I’m showing today,” and that would be classified as a surface-level way to view your activity. Or you can go deeper and look at your riding and showing on a deeper, more spiritual level. Let me explain.  

Say today you ride your horse and you notice you’re really annoyed. Maybe you’re having jumping issues. Maybe your trainer says something and you get upset. Maybe your horse is not doing what you want him or her to do. Maybe you’re just not in the mood.  

You can have those experiences and just say to yourself, “Today was an off day.” Or “I really suck.” Or  “Maybe I should give up riding.” Or “Maybe I need more training sessions…” Or “I need to be more  disciplined…” Or “Get my act together…” or whatever.  

Instead, you can stop yourself, grab your journal, write down your thoughts and feelings, and take the steps to go deeper in figuring out what the true issue is here.

Performance Issues Are Never Just Performance Issues

You can say you’re having some off days. You can say you just weren’t in the right mindset. You can say you’re being ridiculous or not focusing or whatever excuse you want to put forth as to why you’re not riding or showing as well as you know you are capable of. Or again, you can look at the deeper issue. 

In this example I just shared, you’re most likely being too hard on yourself. You’re being negative. You’re being critical and judgmental on yourself. You’re being a perfectionist and you’re most likely being a workaholic. And you know what?  This riding issue you’re having is not an isolated incident. You may think that you’re “just” having a  riding issue, but most likely this is a pattern that takes different forms in every area of your life.  

For example, if you are hard on yourself when riding, then you are most likely hard on yourself in other areas of your life as well. If you are a perfectionist when riding, then most likely you’re a perfectionist in other areas of your life as well. 

Same deal with being negative. If you have negative thoughts while riding or showing, then, yep! You guessed it… you’re negative in other areas of your life too! Notice how you are when you’re riding and showing and you will notice who you are in life.  

The good news is all of this is changeable and fixable because who you are today is a result of trauma and pain, upset, frustration, and anger that you’ve experienced when you were young. You heal these wounds, you heal (and can change) your life!  

Photo © Heather N. Photography

Using Riding and Showing to Heal Your Childhood Wounds

Being human, we all have experienced pain in our lives. Having wounds from our childhood is part of the human experience. This is the case whether you have had a good childhood or a bad one. Everyone has childhood wounds. 

The difference here is that some people acknowledge and are aware that they have childhood wounds and take the steps to heal their issues and others just ignore them, deny them, are totally clueless that they have them, and therefore just let them sit there.  

And when you deny or ignore your unhealed childhood wounds, that’s when things begin to fester.  That’s when these dysfunctional or off-kilter ways of being in the world start to take hold.  

And when you don’t do any spiritual, deep inner work on yourself to heal those parts of yourself that are still wounded from your childhood and past events, the way you view yourself, others, and the world begins to get distorted and clouded.  

You end up seeing yourself, others, and your world in a negative light.  

You end up talking to yourself negatively. You end up being hyper-critical of yourself and others, while viewing all of this behavior as “normal” You end up having control issues, trust issues, abandonment and rejection issues.  

You end up having anxiety, fear, and depression.  

You end up being afraid to live your life, trust life, people, and experiences. And yes, all of this because of unhealed childhood wounds!  wounds!  

Childhood Wounds Affect Every Area of Your Life—Especially Riding

So when clients come to me with riding issues, whether that’s anxiety when riding, a fear of falling,  having negative thoughts, being a perfectionist or workaholic, or not having enough time to ride and have a balanced life, and more, I always go to the root of the issue. I guide them in healing their childhood wounds.  

Because when you have a riding or showing issue, it’s just a surface way of looking at the issue. There’s usually something deeper going on that’s a result of unhealed mental, emotional, and childhood wounds. Here are a few riding issues (“Presenting Issue”) and a few childhood wounds could be the root cause  (“Childhood Wound”)  

Presenting Issue Childhood Wound
Don’t like the new person who is boarding or hanging around the barn.Trust issues (issues trusting yourself, trusting others, trusting life). Jealousy issues, self-worth/ insecurity issues. Fear of the unknown. Unresolved anger and sadness.
Dealing with mean girls at your barn or while showing. Being picked on by your trainer.Self-esteem issues. Pattern of being bullied. Not aware of how to assert yourself and put up boundaries. Not aware how to protect yourself from dark energy.
Overanalyzing, self-critical, judgmental of yourself and others, perfectionism.Critical and judgmental parents or authority figures. Self-esteem issues. Unhealed mental, emotional, physical, verbal or sexual abuse. Unresolved sadness, anger, trauma, pain.
Fear of hurting your horse Fear of the unknown, unhealed anxiety or trauma, self-doubt, not connected to your intuition or pattern of ignoring you intuition, not in your power.
Anxiety and fear of riding after a fall. Abandonment issues, trust issues (of yourself, others, and life), control issues, fear of the unknown, pattern of negative thinking.


You always have a choice. You can always choose to look at your riding issues as just that, isolated issues that you just have while riding or showing, or you can be a wise one and realize that everything in life is connected.  

I suggest you look at your horse riding and showing as a sacred and spiritual practice that you can use  to clear your blocks, heal your childhood wounds, and go deeper in getting to know the real You. The result? Not only will you become a better rider, your whole life will get better. In fact, healing these wounds is the only way you’ll ever find true happiness, peace,  fulfillment, freedom and success! 

The Love Guru Blaire is a Spiritual Teacher, Intuitive Heart Healer, Psychic Medium, Dating and  Relationship Expert, Marriage and Family Therapist, Horse Healer and Animal Communicator. She is  able to clear your anxiety, anger, sadness, loneliness, resentment, frustration, and fear, as well as heal  your negative thoughts, sabotaging behaviors, unhealthy relationship patterns, childhood wounds,  karma and more. She is able to heal trauma and abuse from horses too. Featured in The New York  Times, MSNBC, Montel Show, Glamour Magazine and more. Blaire recently moved to the country –  Bucks County, PA – where she loves playing with, interacting with, and healing all types of animals,  including humans. Book a session for you, your horse, or both at www.HorseHealer.net or  www.LoveGuru.net

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