By ABBY STILWELL
Actively choosing to place your body on top of an 1100-pound prey animal comes with its own set of fears in and of itself. So adding the elements of spending a small mortgage payment to do it for the weekend while being judged and viewed by spectators, well, no wonder it takes courage to step back into the show ring after time away.
For many of us, competitions give us an end zone, that goal to work towards, along with the occasional small payout or pretty ribbon to hang in our tack rooms. But where do you find the courage to do this again after some time away? Or to do it as an adult who has never done it before?
Enter humility. Enter vulnerability. Enter determination and an amazing support system.
Taking up riding again after 15 years out of the saddle has humbled me more times than I can count over the past 6 years. So step one in your journey back into the show ring will need to include some humility. Be prepared to not know everything – or anything. Be prepared to have some embarrassing moments, and be okay with that. Truthfully, some of my most embarrassing moments at shows were probably forgotten by others before they even paid their show bill. Be prepared to find every opportunity possible to learn. Watch the warm-up ring and pick up on things people you look up to are doing. Get someone to take videos of you and reflect on them over and over. Be humble, and find joy in the moments and not the ribbons.
Any time you pay someone money to judge you, no matter your sport or discipline, you are going to have to be vulnerable. Have you done enough to prepare? Is your horse ready? The truth is, it doesn’t matter. In all things horses, there are too many variables to ever know for sure what will happen or if you’ve done enough to prepare. So accept that you’re going to have to be vulnerable and just put yourself out there. Simply celebrate your horse’s hoof prints making their way into the ring and the reins in your hands. That in itself is something to be proud of.
Ultimately, we all know that riding isn’t for the faint of heart. Determination is an essential trait necessary for any equestrian with goals. It helps us to maintain focus, encourages overcoming setbacks (which are almost guaranteed), and drives continuous effort toward success. Without determination, it’s easy to give up when progress slows, but with it, you’re more likely to push through and accomplish what you’ve set out to achieve. This all sounds easy enough and fairly logical, but to be honest, it’s missing one key ingredient. An amazing support system.
For me, that support system is what has allowed me to remain determined, to be vulnerable, and to stay humble while navigating this journey back into the show ring.
In my corner, I have my husband and kids, my parents, and my barn family. Collectively, these very important people provide inspiration, grounding conversations, financial assistance (including cost-sharing opportunities), coaching, and sometimes even a shoulder to cry on. Everyone’s support system will look a little different, but it’s important for all of us to have that network of key people. In my case, some of those people were already in place before I started setting my horse show goals–one of them legally bound by marriage! Others I reached out to, intentionally networking to surround myself with like-minded people who I respected and valued. Remember, you do have a say in who you surround yourself with, so do it with intention.
There are so many awful stories about “toxic” barn environments or negative coaches/trainers. Well, make the choice to be careful about who you choose to have in your corner. Identify people whose energy is positive and aligns with yours. Identify people who have similar goals and values. Identify people who help you navigate the highs and lows of your sport with humility, determination, and vulnerability. In my experience, that has made all the difference.
About
As an avid equestrian, dedicated educator and leader, mother, and wife, Abby is sharing her journey on a quest to make a larger impact. She grew up in northwestern Alberta, where she still lives with her husband and two children. As a full-time school principal with goals and aspirations in the equestrian world, she brings a unique (yet relatable) perspective. Her website is a place to consolidate her thoughts, share ideas and insights, and showcase her writing journey. Click here to learn more.
