BY JAMIE SINDELL
If you know, you know. If you don’t… this might explain a few things.
Normal person: Do I have to go out in this weather?
Horse person: Can I drive to the barn in this snowstorm? Is this tornado really that big of a deal? I need to groom my horse.
Normal person: I need a break before I snap.
Horse person: I need to go to the barn. Now.
Normal person: I can’t miss school or work.
Horse person: If there’s a horse show, I’ll have the flu… cough cough.
Normal person: I will be there on time.
Horse person: I’ve given up on being anywhere on time. People tell me to arrive an hour earlier than expected. But I’m still late because I’m putzing around the barn.
Normal person: Let’s hang out all weekend.
Horse person: Sorry. I can’t hang out this weekend. Or ever. Because I’m hanging out with my horse.
Normal person: Weekend equals sleeping in.
Horse person: Weekend equals 5 a.m. horse show wake-up. Willingly.
Normal person: Let’s go on vacation somewhere with palm trees, sunshine, and sit by the pool doing nothing.
Horse person: Only if we’re horse showing… where we sit around getting a weird tan and waiting for our classes all day.
Normal person: Forgets their gym bag.
Horse person: Has three pairs of gloves, none of which match, two pairs of smelly breeches, and a half-eaten sandwich in the trunk of the car.
Normal person: Needs a snack between meals.
Horse person: Eats a granola bar and drinks a Red Bull while lunging a horse and calls it a healthy dinner.
Normal person: Bad workout equals annoyed.
Horse person: Bad ride equals full emotional spiral and “That’s it, I’m quitting,” followed by “I need to go back tomorrow to ride my horse.”
Normal person: Celebrates wins.
Horse person: Celebrates a clean lead change like they just won the Olympics.
Normal person: Goes to the gym.
Horse person: Has a trainer, a barn owner, a clinician, and at least three unofficial advisors in the aisle.
Normal person: Showers after pickleball.
Horse person: Smells like a barn and considers it perfume.
Normal person: My house is neat and tidy. I channel my inner Marie Kondo every Friday and organize. Then I wash my sheets.
Horse person: My house is trashed. But my saddle is conditioned and my bit is sparkling. Prioritizing, people.
Normal person: I’m buying these cute leggings from Shein.
Horse person: I’m spending $300 on Italian breeches that I’ll stain the first time I wear them.
Normal person: I am buying new shoes. I will keep them clean because they are new.
Horse person: I am buying new shoes. I will tell myself I’m going to keep them clean. Then I will wear them to the barn. Let’s be honest. These are new barn shoes.
Normal person: I’m saving for a down payment on a house. I’m saving for my kids’ college tuition. I’m saving, so one day I can move to Arizona and retire with the cacti.
Horse person: I’m saving for a Voltaire saddle, my next horse, and vet bills. And somehow, my three jobs still aren’t cutting it.
Normal person: Let’s hit up Ulta and then grab lunch.
Horse person: Let’s make a quick stop at the tack shop and somehow end up there for two hours smelling every horse shampoo.
Normal person: My kind of drama is watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Horse person: My kind of drama is just hanging out in the tack room.
Normal person: Let’s spill the tea. Did you hear Laura is getting a divorce? Alison dumped her boyfriend. Uh-huh.
Horse person: Did you hear Laura imported a new jumper? Alison got a custom saddle. Stop it! Say more.
Normal person: I’m going to scroll cooking reels and ASMR.
Horse person: I’m going to scroll horses I can’t afford and convince myself I need another one. Or two.
Normal person: I was thrown into the dirt, split my lip open, got a concussion, and I will never do that again.
Horse person: If I’m still conscious, I’m getting back on.
Normal person: Look at my cute support animal that fits in my purse.
Horse person: My support animal weighs half a ton and tries to kill me occasionally.
Normal person: I’m so overwhelmed. I can’t take on one more thing.
Horse person: Buys another horse.
No regrets. Many complaints.
Jamie Sindell is a passionate equestrian blogger. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona and a BS in Animal Science from Cornell University. She has ridden and owned hunters on and off throughout her life. She is a mom of five kids who range from ages 5-16. She and her family reside at Wish List Farm, where her horse-crazy girls play with their ponies. Her son and husband play with the tractor. You can follow her on Instagram @wishlistfarm.
